Author Topic: Old Joke  (Read 857 times)

Offline Mike GadgetGeek Stock

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Old Joke
« on: September 24, 2013, 05:40:05 PM »

          A State Trooper was  patrolling late at night off the main highway.
          At nearly  midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in lovers' lane,
          with the  interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches
          the car  to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the
          wheel,  reading a computer magazine.

          He immediately notices a young  woman in the rear seat, filing her
          fingernails.

          Puzzled  by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car
          and  gently raps on the driver's window. The young man lowers his
          window. 'Uh, yes, Officer'?

          The trooper asks: 'What are  you doing?'

          The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a  magazine.'

          Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat  the trooper
          says: 'And, her, what is she doing?'

          The  young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails.'

          Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young  couple, alone, in a car, at night in a lover's  lane and nothing inappropriate is
          happening!

          The trooper  asks: 'What's your age, young man?'

          The young man says: 'I'm  22, sir.'

          The trooper asks: 'And her, what's her  age?'

          The young man looks at his watch and replies: 'She'll  be 18 in 11  minutes.'
Finding offense where none is intended is a form of selfishness.

When facts change, I change my mind.  What do you do?

It's a poor craftsman that blames his tools.

Offline Mike GadgetGeek Stock

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Re: Old Joke
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2014, 04:38:12 PM »


A  man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous  redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he  sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
********************
Suddenly  she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the  man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it  back.
 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye  back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to  you.'
**********************
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner  together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks...  They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared  his. She listened to him with interest.
************************* 
After  paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place  for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful  time..
************************
The  next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy  was amazed. Everything had been so incredible! 
*************************
'You  know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman.. Are you this nice to every  guy you meet?'
 'No,' she replies. . ..



'You  just happened to catch my eye.'



.................
Finding offense where none is intended is a form of selfishness.

When facts change, I change my mind.  What do you do?

It's a poor craftsman that blames his tools.

Offline Mike GadgetGeek Stock

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Re: Old Joke
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2015, 11:36:38 AM »


BURIAL PLANS
A man and woman were married for many years.  Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night.

The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
 
Neighbours feared him.

The old man liked the fact that he was feared. 
Then one evening, he died when he was 98. 

After the burial,  her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
 
(HERE IT COMES!!!)
 
The wife said,  " Let him dig.
I had him buried upside down...and I know he won't ask for directions."

................
Finding offense where none is intended is a form of selfishness.

When facts change, I change my mind.  What do you do?

It's a poor craftsman that blames his tools.

 

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