Author Topic: Kitchen Mishaps  (Read 2564 times)

Offline LizR

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Kitchen Mishaps
« on: May 15, 2011, 03:51:36 PM »
Has anyone else set a wooden spoon on fire? A couple of months ago DH set my favorite wooden spoon on fire. It was my grandmothers and I gave him a kind of a hard time about it but it was salvagable. I just managed to nearly set the other end of it on fire. Could smell the wood smoke and everything. Good thing he is napping!   ;)

Offline Northside Food

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Re: Kitchen Mishaps
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2011, 07:25:47 PM »
I have an electric stove and I'm constantly forgetting that the burners are hot after I shut it off. Since my counter space is limited, I tend to set things on the stove while I'm working. So far I've melted several plastic bags and charred a tea towel and the cover of my Joy of Cooking.
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Offline mikeamor

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Re: Kitchen Mishaps
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2011, 04:56:58 AM »
Not too long ago I was in the process of the initial mixing of some bread dough, where it is really soupy, and instead of turning the Kitchenaid off to add more flour, I turned it all the way up.  No splash guard.  Sticky, gooey batter was on me, the floor, the walls, all over the stuff on the baker's rack, it was a horrible mess.  I had no idea how much of the basic ingredients had been lost so to add insult to injury, after cleaning up the kitchen, I had to throw out what was left in the bowl and start over.
I remember being so shocked I just stood there for a moment with my hands out in front of me while the batter flew.
It felt like an episode of some sitcom where a kid tries to cook.
Unfortunately, a conclusion is usually the place where you got tired of thinking.

Offline Beerbitch

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Re: Kitchen Mishaps
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2011, 08:54:20 AM »
I still want to know why Cuisinarts leak.  Seems like a design flaw.

Any tricks to share?  I've tried wrapping the base in saran which sort of kind of works....

Offline bettylouski

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Re: Kitchen Mishaps
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2011, 09:45:54 AM »
I still want to know why Cuisinarts leak.  Seems like a design flaw.

Any tricks to share?  I've tried wrapping the base in saran which sort of kind of works....

I've always wondered this, too! 

Offline LizR

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Re: Kitchen Mishaps
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2011, 10:41:16 AM »
I have an electric stove and I'm constantly forgetting that the burners are hot after I shut it off. Since my counter space is limited, I tend to set things on the stove while I'm working. So far I've melted several plastic bags and charred a tea towel and the cover of my Joy of Cooking.

Good stories! The above reminded me of my original kitchen mishap, although it was not directly related to cooking. As a teenager, I got the idea to steam my face over hot water, so I heated up a pot on my mom's electric stove, draped a towel over my head and put my face over the pot. Never occured to me that the towel might touch the still-hot element and light on fire, but that is what happened. Exciting to have a burning towel draped over your head. It was nearly a thinning the herd moment.

Re the Cuisinart - other brands don't seem to have that problem, in my experience.

Offline Northside Food

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Re: Kitchen Mishaps
« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2011, 03:14:06 PM »
I used to have waist length hair. Accidentally brushing it across a burner as I was cooking when I was a kid was a frequent occurrence.  I finally got sick of dealing with it a few months before we got married in 2003 and had it all chopped off.
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Offline LizR

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Re: Kitchen Mishaps
« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2011, 03:20:08 PM »
LOL. Nothing quite like the smell of burning hair!

Offline Chocoholic

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Re: Kitchen Mishaps
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2011, 01:56:32 PM »
RE: the Cuisinart problem, I don't have a solution, but I have learned to process liquids in batches.  The only "trick" I know is to not get the bowl more than about half full if you're processing, say, soup, which I do fairly often.

Offline Foodgeek

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Re: Kitchen Mishaps
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2011, 03:55:25 PM »
I have a little baby Cuisinart. It looks like THIS. This one hasn't leaked on me, but I do admit that the last one, whatever brand it was, leaked all the time, which is why I learned to always process things that are fairly liquid, like soups, in my blender.

So then why did I get another food processor? For a couple of reasons. I had a gift certificate to use up, and I also burned out the motor on my blender trying to puree things that are too thick or chunky. And I find that blenders aren't that good for processing dry ingredients. It was probably time to replace that blender, anyway.  :D

I'd add some of my kitchen mishaps to this thread, but I'm afraid my reputation for injuring myself precedes me.
Food is my favorite.

Offline rebelliousrose

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Re: Kitchen Mishaps
« Reply #10 on: June 14, 2011, 02:08:38 AM »
I don't know if these count; culinary, rather than kitchen, but I was amused both times....

I went to a dinner party the other night, bit of a last minute thing, since I didn't know if I could go until the clock was ticking down.

Now, understand, I have a food allergy. I can't eat any hard cheeses (I can eat marscapone and ricotta, but they aren't really cheeses, they are creams and curds) because if I do, the results are inevitably unpleasant and involve oozy, itchy welts and gastrointestinal disturbance. Everyone who has ever eaten a meal with me in a restaurant knows this, people who have known me for a long time know this, I know this, and generally plan ahead.

Which is to say, if I am going to eat at someone's house and it hasn't been specifically mentioned as a reminder, or I think they might not know, I eat first- have a snack of some kind, just in case. Usually there is some cheeseless food I can focus on in emergencies.

Tonight's party being last-minute, and at the house of a person who knows me well and has for some time, I didn't think about it.

We sit down to dinner, which begins around a nice platter of varied chips and hummus. (I hate hummus, but had some chips.) When it is time for the main course to be brought out, one of the other guests, not the hostess, rises, and fetches food. At which point, I realize that it's going to be a bumpy night.

Chicken parmesan. Baked ziti. And a seven-layer salad, topped with cheddar. Clearly, this evening's cook is on the Dairy Council. And I am sitting at her immediate right.

Which means I get the first (heaping) serving of chicken parm. I'm trying not to laugh uncontrollably, because I've just been served poison on a plate (and a large helping, at that) and as the salad comes around I dig to the bottom and manage to get some corn, olives and chickpeas (the reason I hate hummus) onto the plate, sans toxic substances. I can't say anything, because what's ruder than being that person who comes for dinner and then is a pain in the ass?

So I am "eating" (niblet of corn here, olive bit there, poke a chickpea, shove the chicken with my fork, wipe fork on lettuce leaf, repeat) and holding up my end of the witty repartee while awaiting my chance.

Because, you see, I was raised to protect the cook's feelings at all costs, and my mother would have beaten me into bloody gobbets if I ever was impolite about someone's labors.

The cook arose to go to the kitchen, and as she cleared the door, I whisked a large piece of chicken and a glob of sauce onto my bread plate, deftly nipping the lot into my lap and covering it with my (paper) napkin as she returned.

As the cook sat down, my hostess to my left realized my dilemma (I think she'd either forgotten my allergy or was waiting to assist the while) and smoothly whipped the plate out of my lap and hopped up into the kitchen. What was left was sauce and bits, and once artistically arranged, it looked like I'd eaten quite a bit (luckily also the salad was served in a tall trifle bowl and I kept it between myself and the cook, while repeatedly digging ostentatiously into the salad) and politeness was served.

Dessert was berries. Where's a big chocolate cake when you need it?

I walked out with a long-time friend of mine and I said to her, "Would you care to accompany me to Arby's?" and she got hysterical laughing, as did I.

My roast beef and potato cakes were lovely.

But this makes me wonder, how many other people have had things like this, or other disasters, happen?

My mother is a fantastic cook. Cordon Bleu standards, and that's why a misfire is so rare as to be legendary for her. I can remember three in my lifetime; the tomato aspic, the "earthquake" cake, and the Rubber Chicken.

The Rubber Chicken is especially treasured by the family. It was the night Steve was bringing his new girlfriend Cheryl to meet our family, his best friends. Which would have been better if, being Steve, he'd given my mother any advance warning, and also not suggested the menu (my mother's glorious orange-cranberry glazed baked chicken).

So my mother bolts to the store and returns with two whole chickens, does the prep, throws the chicken in the oven. I set the table fancily, everyone showers, spiffs up, hides the porn, tidies up the living room, etc.

Dinner is served. Steve is powering through his chicken, praising my mother and her cooking to the skies. My mother is complimenting herself on how well it turned out with no warning. And Cheryl and I are chewing. And chewing. On our first bites.

This is very seriously the toughest chicken I have ever eaten, or tried to. (And I was in junior high at the time, eating school lunches) And Cheryl's sitting across the table from me, trying to eat this same stuff, and Steve's raving about it.

"Mom," I say, "This chicken is TOUGH. The flavor's right, but it's like a tire."

"It's perfect," snaps my mother, fork-cutting a bite of hers.

"It sucks!" I counter, "And poor Cheryl can't chew hers either."

"It's FINE." grits my mother, glaring with the Eyes of Impending Doom. "Stop it."

Cheryl, mortified, continues to chew. I continue to argue the point, sawing emphatically at the poultry equivalent of a bog person. Steve leaps in to defend my mother. I am about two more comments from my own death at the hands of my incensed parent when David, my mother's boyfriend, speaks for the first time. He's on his second piece of the chicken, and his second is the special, extra-dense model.

"Rose's right. There's something wrong with this chicken," David pronounces, and since he rarely talks, his words have a gravitas that my more volatile teenage opinions lack.

My mother swoops the Thigh of Firestone off my plate and attempts to cut a piece. The Thigh resists.

I obligingly hand over one of the two chunks I have hacked loose.

My mother is horrified. I am vindicated. Cheryl is chewing.

It is eventually deduced that in my mother's mad dash to the store to get the chicken, she grabbed blindly- one FRYING chicken, and one STEWING chicken. Cheryl's chicken is removed and replaced with the last decent piece. I get sauce and potatoes.

Family legend.

Offline LizR

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Re: Kitchen Mishaps
« Reply #11 on: June 14, 2011, 11:20:58 AM »
My Aunt, who is a fantastic cook, once forgot to serve baked beans that were in the oven and they burned. That was probably 30 years ago and, to this day, when the whole extended family gets together for dinner, as we are sitting down to the table someone usually says "no baked beans in the oven, right?", even if it is a formal Christmas dinner.

 

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